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Irreverent Love Poems


Sometimes, even often, I find that looking at things in a way that is different is very fun. At times it almost becomes like writing mythology or wise saws. But for me both of these come with a snarky edge as oft as not. So here are some observations on love.

Ebb and Flow

Diana is full of lust,

would take Neptune to bed

but Jupiter on his throne

just smiles and shakes his head.

He said, "For all your foolishness

you will be the pair

who rush to meet each other

then retreat in despair.

I will set my timepiece

to this symbol of your pride

and pass the word to mariners

who will mark your changing tide."

Then he turned his attention

to all the wayward men

said, "You have been watching them

with a wink and a grin.

The task of finding sex

will make their struggles seem mundane

for I'll endow each gender

with an entirely different brain."

When romance seems more distant

than the craters of the moon

curse the Roman gods of old

who wrote this universal tune."

Living Barbie

I knew a wondrous girl,

perhaps her name was Sally,

her breasts were augmented—

her cleavage silicon valley.

Her lips were full and pouty—

blessed by botox,

and generous gluteal pads

curved her buttocks.

With perfect, round nipples

that begged to be caressed—

enchanting like

buttons on a Leprechaun's vest.

And I know her pulchritude

won't sag or fade away,

for diamonds are forever—

plastic forever and a day.


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